by Laura Allmayer who has 3 kids, a fiance, a dog, a hamster, a bird & a swimming pool. When she’s not trying to make sure they all remain alive, fed, clothed and loved she’s baking, writing, reading or pampering a bunch of over excited little girls for their birthday!
I was rather blown away when I heard how against Pamper Parties some moms are. Part of my reaction was because this is how I make a living but I also truly believe it depends on how the party is run. It can be a fun party, that in no way leads to the “harmful messaging” described in Danya-Zee Pedra’s article
At the parties we organise the girls are given a mini facial where we put a mud mask on for about 5 minutes with cucumbers on their eyes. We soak and rub their feet and hands and then we paint their nails – usually just their toenails. They sit together and chatter while we are busy and giggle when we put the cucumbers on. Most of the younger girls will run out the door the second we say they can and climb on the jungle gym or play in the sand with their newly painted nails.
The girls are still little girls. They giggle, they smudge the nail polish, they play outside while they wait for their parents. We don’t talk to them about a beauty regime, we don’t suggest they come back regularly to have their nails done – we simply indulge them for 2 hours.
Getting your nails painted at a party is not sending out a message that you aren’t good enough. It is a treat that the girls love. My daughter, Kiara really isn’t a girly girl but every now and then she asks me to paint her nails – she loves it. The polish normally gets smudgedbefore it’s dry because she doesn’t have the patience to sit still that long but she loves sitting with me doing it.
I don’t think teaching girls that it s ok to be pampered is wrong. I actually wish my mother had taught me to take time out for myself. I don’t think rubbing their feet for them is forcing them to grow up. It is what happens when they leave the party matters.
I agree that we need to keep our kids kids for as long as possible and expose them to things that are age appropriate. I also feel that how we as parents respond plays a huge role in how our kids respond. If my child comes home with her nails done and I make a big fuss about how beautiful she looks and that she looks so much better than she did before she left of course the child is going to start feeling insecure.
Raising girls is hard especially in today’s world where dangers lurk in every corner. As their mothers we do need to do what we can to protect them from those dangers but I honestly don’t feel Pamper Parties are one of them.