by Mia Von Scha, Transformational Coach, motivational speaker, children’s author, student to two Zen Masters (aka kids), avid cloud watcher and lover of life.
Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy… what these three all have in common is that we know perfectly well that it is us filling the stockings, hiding the eggs and replacing lost dentition with cash. But do your kids know this? And is lying ok when it’s in the spirit of fun? Or not?
There is a pretty good argument for allowing your kids to live in a fantasy world of big red men that climb down chimneys and fairies that collect lost teeth. I’m all for imagination and fantasy play – where would we be without the dreamers coming up with new inventions and challenging old ideas?
I’m also all for modeling for my kids what I would like them to be doing themselves. Like telling the truth. And creating trust.
I leave things a bit more open ended when I actually don’t know the answer myself. Aliens, for example. Do they exist? Well, I simply don’t know. I’ve never seen one myself, but with an incredibly expansive universe such as the one we’re a tiny dot in, it seems unlikely to me that we’re totally alone. Who knows?!
But Santa Claus? If I know very well that it’s me doing the gifting, it seems only right to me to tell my kids this. It’s called telling the truth. And I’m hoping that they will do the same. I’m also hoping that one day they won’t turn around and go, “if she lied to me about that, well what else did she say that is false? Should I question it all?”
Take it from someone who’s done this – my kids still love their stockings on Christmas morning, they enjoy every minute of their Easter Egg hunt and they always leave their teeth out for Mom The Tooth Fairy! They also both have vast imaginations and spend hours each day in fantasy games, some of which include Mr Claus and our friend the rabbit. And, they trust me to be honest with them, always.