With mothers day coming up, I cant help but think more about those who have buried their mums and those mums who have buried their children. Just a short few months ago, we buried my sister. She left behind two gorgeous little boys for whom Mothers Day and every other day will always feel a little empty.
I have read that when someone buries their parents they are called an orphan, when someone buries their spouse they are called a widow but for those who bury their children, there is no term. I think that no word or term could adequately describe this loss and do justice to the depth of what it does to your soul and to your being.
I look at my mum everyday and despite her smile and her strength for us, I see her eyes. I see the years she holds onto ..the years that gave her dreams for her child. I see the unconditional love that still continues to show even without the physical presence of the child. I see strength that keeps holding a family together. I see the love that she ensures the rest of us feel. I see perseverance that makes her get up the next day to do it all over again.
To my mum and all those that have lost their children along this journey… I see you. My soul tears when I see you smile as I know how much it takes from you. You are the mothers that give us hope. You are the mothers that teach us all that we should be for our kids. You are the mothers who have taught us that every moment is a valuable one, that every moment is a cherished one and that every moment is one we only get to hold on to in our memories going forward.
I see your bruises…but I can never feel them nor will I ever minimise your pain by saying I understand. I know we will never be able to take away the emptiness …but I will hold your hand through it. I will stand by quietly for as long as you need me to. I will try and make you smile and make you laugh especially on those days when you feel you no longer can. I will hold your hand a little tighter when you see their friends and others their age and I will be there when it all falls apart.
So on this mothers day I wish you my mum and to all the mums that have lost a beloved child a warm mothers day..surrounded by the comfort of your memories and the sunshine of your love.